Like the photos here, life is full of light and shadow.
When I finished my last day at Summer semester, I cried. I broke down into tears after coming back from school. Matthew wondered what happened to me. I told him “I never had such nice class mates, I almost never had such nice TAs. I am going to miss them.”
While he was pacifying me, he asked “Why sweetie? You are just beginning your course work at Harvard, you will meet so many friends.”
Oh well, it’s hard for him to understand. Many of you had a smooth and exciting education life like Matthew, but I almost never had such experience.
My grad life at SUNY – Buffalo was terrible. As the rent in Buffalo and school fees at UB are quite less, a significant number of Indian students go there every year. It’s an Indian majority grad program so you (if you’re an Indian) can understand what kind of dirty Indian business goes on there.
Maybe I was naïve but students, teachers and TAs out there made my life miserable. I had a very small friend circle (read 4) who genuinely supported me, but majority of the class hated me. When I landed there I started staying with two Bengali girls from Kolkata who made my life living hell.
I escaped from that house and started living with an American medical student. She was un-clean but a very nice room mate. After a year, I decided to live on my own. But, those two Bengali girls bitched, gossiped about me in every single party and made sure it’s clear – how hard is to live with me.
I was mysterious and minded my own business, which is why I was eye sores of many!
No one knew what’s happening with me and that drove them crazy. I was the subject of gossips in all Indian parties.
I needed to share this, because for past few weeks these thoughts have been bothering me. I needed to get this off from my chest. I really wish even the worst enemy of my life does not face what I faced in Buffalo. Oh well, bad time ends and one day I moved to Boston.
Life in Boston is like heaven compared to the hell I lived in Buffalo. Here my TAs, class mates, professors – are so nice. I often wonder if this is an alter life – they are that good to be true. They all are so compassionate and helping. There is no name calling, bitch game or jealousy.
No matter how many times I asked the same question, my TAs never got mad at me or called me “a dark bimbo.” I don’t know if this is just Harvard standard, but compared to SUNY-buffalo it’s heaven.
That being said, I would like to finish today’s post with a few good notes. I got A and A- in two summer courses at Harvard. Oh well, “all well that ends well.”
Here are some glimpses of my university, Harvard in the morning light (Before 6:30 am).
Dolphia,
Believe me I had the very worst experience when I came here for the first time. They used to mock me and then I moved and rented my own apartment. Even then people discouraged and referred me as spending money uselessly for rent. Once I started proving myself in career, they started respecting me. I then stayed with a French girl. Eventually I learnt to ignore those comments and it gave me so much peace. I can relate to your situation and understand. Gone are those days my girl! You are strong now!
Karthika,
I am so happy that you shared your story with me. I always wondered “Am I the only one who faced this?” I guess life is full of people like these, and that’s how we grow up!
Omg Indian girls! Their hate comes from pure jealousy..thanks for opening that side of the school.
I love the last pic of the University.
Thanks Meena!
Dolphia ,
I think we met once or twice but never talked to know each other as I am not from CS. Atleast if I knew this in univ I would happily be supportive to you . We all come to US by leaving friends , family and every thing we love back home hoping we will meet and make new friends and achieve our dreams. When I heard such incidents it makes me feel sad and frustrating why cant people accept and respect others how they are . Any way past is gone and your present is wonderful .. Good luck with ur future …
Take it as an experience. This stuff make ones stronger. People behave in such manner when they are insecure. Hugs to you. Between the last picture is beautiful. Don’t you think it symbolizes moving towards a sunshine and making beautiful memories and experiences for future
Thanks Swe!
Most of my friends were from non computer courses.
Thanks Huma
Hi Dolphia,
Your essay brought tears to my eyes because I had a very similar experience in the beginning of my masters course! I felt I did not belong there and folks made it very clear by their behavior that I was an outsider. But I did survive and finished MS and got a job. The two years I spent were hell and it still makes me sad to think about those times.
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m glad you survived like I did and are in a very happy place, just as I am. I thank my stars for getting me outta there in one piece.
Dear Dolly,
Many a times people can be unfair, mean and would be ever ready to pass hurtful remarks about people especially whom they don’t know personally. Majority of them are judgmental about people, things, happenings and every single damn thing around them. These are classic living examples of how one should not be. We should be happy to have such living examples around us so that we soar higher and shine brighter. You are unique, talented, beautiful, brainy and a happy person. Brush these off from your shoulders and keep rocking. Hugs. Cheers
Hi Asmit,
I was quite hesitant about writing the post. But now I see many are coming forward and having an empathy with me.
Thanks again!
Dear Dolphia,
Your post reminded me of my initial days in Buffalo. I had terrible roommates and they hated me like anything. Two of them were Bengali as well. I am sure that they gossiped about me and made fun of me as well. My “snap” moment came when once I caught them red-handed plotting against me. I still remember how their friends soon started mocking me. Till date, whenever their name shows up on FB, I feel sick. Some of them are on your FB list as well 😉
After so many years, I feel thankful that they were so mean to me. They taught me to become a strong girl and stand up for myself. They are the reason why I made few very good friends in Buffalo.
You should feel proud that you are doing so well now. Ultimately, what matters in life is how content you are.
Suchi Di,
Thanks for your kind words. I am glad to know, I was not the only one.